


Kirby and the apocalypse

by Youcant_stopme



Series: Cracky linked universe oneshots [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youcant_stopme/pseuds/Youcant_stopme
Summary: Kirby ruins everything
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe), Link/Marin (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Cracky linked universe oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855114
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Kirby and the apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> This was from an original idea by my brother

(You have to read this fic with a France accent)  
It was a lovvely dai inn hitule. The winnd waas blowning, the haeraeos where innm wulds hirule. They was beaeath hitule casstl. They haddd been walking for 1111qqq hours. They hungry. Leg angy. Wars dramakeen. Time stabbby.  
"Wut iss thattt?" Wind swearwed.  
"I dohnt knnooww" twiwolf answered.  
It was a stticck.the styick held mastree swoord im it's hand.  
"Nom!" The saick spoke, and eated fi.  
Then thee sttick became kirby.  
"Nooooooooooooooooooookoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
"Fiuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!"  
Sky screamed, and runned fram mot kirby.  
"I will take your liiiffeee!!!!"  
"Poyo!"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"  
"Nom!"  
The otther lonks watched as kirb swollowed sky in one thought.  
"Oh my fucken God, he fucken ded!"  
Time deeedpanned.  
"Run for yooouur liiffee!"  
Twiwolf dppokke, alreaddy hamster.  
\------  
One jahre later  
Kird spotted out the Skyloftian. He was ded. No, not really, he becomed  
A shell. And mario was singing country roads. Theeen ramiro sawww  
The shell and snurrhoppade den.  
Kirby swaaalllowed the lanks and spotted them out onn mmaarrsss. Then peeatch ate the moon.  
"Fuck the moonn!" Time yelled, sobbing. Kirby ated the earhtt. Then hi spottade ut den. On Mars they meated twengale. He was ugly. Afet they had been killed by tingel, they sawed Marriott. mariiio had Sykes ghost in his haanndd likke a balloon, anndd thhreww it in higrules head.  
"Ooooooohhhhhh noooooooooooo!! I died!! Shark, revive me!!!" Hyrule yelled. Thennn hee dedd bc Shrek does not listen.  
'"Gee, sure it is boring around here, I wonder what Gannon is upp to."  
Leaegebd turned atond. Kirby haad bocomed CDIlink.  
"Affafsfgsgsvsvhshdhfh!!!!"  
Legend screamed.  
""Don't you dare! I have god and anime on my said!""  
"Oooooooooo noooooooo!!!" Imm dyuaing.  
Psst, the author is not here. This is what happens when I lost my Last braincells.  
""Argehfssbrnganfsjfsjrzrsf, I want MURDERER"!!!  
"AFAFFAFAFSFSCSC, NO IWANT MURDER!!!!""  
Wars and leg continued bickering.  
The yellow hamster, which was twiwolfs alternanae form, ate an apple, and became god.  
"I NEED MORE APPLES!!" The hamster decided, and owrthriwed the whole word .  
"Aaffadadad!!! It's thhe lonnk from Pennsylvania!!" Wind screamed, swallowing a rupee.  
"Wait, whwweres Four?"  
"I'm forgotten."  
"Well, exuuuuuse me, princess."  
"Who said that?"  
"Me. I'm breaking the forth wallll."  
"Woh tf aree uu?"  
"The author of this fic."  
"How much sleep are u getting?"  
"Knot enough."  
Hlsfsvsvhshshsjdkd. I typed that wie.th my noeese.  
"Marin!" "It's you!" Lee sobbed, hugging marin.  
"No bitch, I'm kirby."  
Marin become kirby again.  
Legend played the oinkarina with him nose to maake himself feel better.  
Warriors decked him with a letter.  
"Shut the fuck up, you stoooopiiidddd!"  
I'm now the hero of rhyme.  
"I want to siinng!!!"  
Four sang.  
🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶📻🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵📢  
"Wut?" Wuld asked, baking bread.  
Bread.  
🥖🥨🥖🥐🥖🥨🥨🥖🥖🥖🥖🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🥐🥐🥐🥐🥖🥐🥖🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨🥐🍞🍞🍞🍞  
Milk  
🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛  
Warriors dabbed.  
"Momma!! Just killed a man!!" Time screamed and stabbed tingle in the eye.  
"I regret nothing."  
Thenn tiime turned into tree boi, and ran away!  
"Dad, is this where you have been the past ten years?"  
Twiwolf asked.  
Time gave him the finger and dissappeard.  
"Daaaad! Noooooo!!!"  
"Is sky stiill ded?" Highlow asked.  
"Yes, but not spiritually!" Sky spoke from out in the aurrr. And now I will song.🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵📢📢🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🥛🎵🥛🎶🎵🥛🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶💜🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶  
Sku then eated bread.  
🥖🥖🥨🥖🥐🥖🥨🥐🥖🍞🥖🥐🥖🍞🥨🥐🥐🥐🥖🍞🧡🍞🥨🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞💛🥐🥨🍞🥐🥖🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥨🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥨🥐🥨🥐🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🥖🥐🥐🥨🥨🍞🍞🥨🍞🥐🥨🍞🥨🍞🥨🥐🥨🥐🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥨🥐🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🥐🥐🥨🥐🥨🥐🥖🍞🥖🥐🥐🥨🍞🥖🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥐🥨🥐🥖🍞🥨🍞🥖🍞🥐🥨🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🥐🥖🥐🥖🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🥐🥖🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥨🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🥐🥨🥐🥨💙🧡💙🥖💙🥨🖤🥨🖤💙🥨🥐🥖🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🥨🥐🥐🍞🥖🥐🥨🥐🥨🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥐🥨🥐🥨🥐🥐🥨🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥨🍞🍞🥨🍞🥖🍞🍞🥨🍞🥨🍞🍞🥨🥐🥖🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥨🍞🥨🍞🍞🥖🍞🥨🥐🥨🥐🥖🥐🥖🥐🥨🥐🥐🥨🍞🥐🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞🥖🍞  
And drank milk:🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙🥛🥛💙🥛💙💙💙💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙💙💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛💙🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛  
Blue is now angy  
"No talk me, I angy."  
Vio punched him in the face.  
Then shrek killed all the fours. And marin stabbed legend. Wars ate an orange too dramatically so he died. Twiwolf chouged up an hairball and died. And then kirby swaaalllowed everything. The test of the links lived a beautiful life without braincells and acted like cuccos. Then they died, and tingle become a new god. Hylisa gave up. I should sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I showed my mom this and she took my phone immediately.


End file.
